Lost in the embrace of Amanda Lynn

Progress?

Posted in depression by amandalinn on November 5, 2007

Yesterday my boyfriend walked all the way back to the guest room, and asked me if I was okay. This is *amazing* progress, as he has never done anything like this in 8 years. Okay, I had to tell him specifically what to do but I did that before and it didn’t sink in. Soooo progress of sorts.

Although… when I said I wasn’t really okay, he said “what’s wrong?” …argh. I then said I’m just sort of okay, barely okay, and I hugged him. For at least doing Something. And I pretended to be in a good mood for a while in the hopes I could trick myself.

As for myself, I decided to stop waiting to see when he eats to decide I should eat, and just try to feed myself like a normal human being.

Also, he warned me today when he went out to a job site that he’d be late and would be eating out.

(I should mention that he does most of the cooking. Except when he doesn’t feel like it, which usually comes as a surprise, and late. He works at home and I have a job, and he likes cooking.)

So I cooked. Used a knife, and the stove, and veggies, and egg beaters. It tastes a little funny, not sure why, but tis food.

Now, I’m looking at next quarter’s class schedule and trying to decide if I can handle two classes during prime SAD season.

One Response

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  1. pamajama said, on February 24, 2008 at 4:00 pm

    I was thinking about this one this morning and wanted to add that I think he’s just being a man. My husband wants to slit his wrists every time I start psychoanalyzing myself and telling him about my past. He pretends to listen as he thinks about dogs or meat loaf.


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