Shopping

I hate shopping on a good day, let alone with chemo tiredness. Luckily someone reminded me of the Intehweb.

I ordered a bra, size huge, hope it fits, whatever. Some really pretty head scarfs. Some shorts. A concert DVD that was sitting in my shopping cart already.

Yay, stuff in the mail next week.

Blargh

My breast turned scary red, but it keeps doing that. I suppose it’s to be expected. It’s kind of swollen and it’s kind of creepy to think of the poison vs cancer war, and dead cells, and stuff, going on 13 inches from my face. And there’s still a giant tumor in there. It might have shrunk or I might be crazy but I should probably quit poking at it, that’s probably why it is red.

Gonna be a long 7 months. Oh well I’m so lucky to be able to work at home, and to not have any responsibilities as far as taking care of other people.

Ditto

Still tired, still working at home, still doing okay, still reading all yer blogs

Oh Hai I’m still not puking

I’m being very careful about eating every couple of hours. I took the meds that I was “supposed” to take for nausea. I didn’t take the “as needed” one at all. I thought about it last night and then read the scary side effects and decided I didn’t feel so bad after all :-p

Yesterday morning I felt pretty good so I did some dishes, picked up all the mail piled around the kitchen, sorted it into degrees of junkiness, and handed it to the boyfriend for further disposal. I filled both the bird feeders and killed all the ants around them. Between these things I sat down and rested a bit but I still felt pretty good.

Sometime in the afternoon, though, I started to feel like I’d been running marathons for three days. I have never felt that tired. Luckily I don’t have anything I have to do.

This morning, so far so good, a little tired, a little headachey, just like a regular morning. I’ve had my cereal… time to surf some blogs

So far so good

Right, well, it’s morning… so far I am thirsty, have a headache, and my perma-morning-diarrhea is a little better than usual (probably on the way to constipation

Sort of anticlimactic so far but they said it might hit later.

I’m having some gatorade at the moment. My boyfriend is still asleep, poor boy. I think this is harder on him since he’s not used to getting up and going places every day, and sitting places he didn’t want to be. But he’s Great. He is good at sitting around doing nothing though so that helps

So, here we go in the shrinking direction! yay!

Yesterday was Tumor Solstice.

Hugs to all,

Amanda Lynn

So far, so far

Chemo went okay, nothing hurt very much, nothing feels too bad yet. They offered me an ativan and I said “… um… sure” so now I’m fairly loopy. Typing is amusing. I keep taking mininaps. So far I think it’s all the ativan.

We stopped by El Pollo Loco, and I ate a chicken breast, tortilla, a side of fresh veggies, and half a side of mashed potatoes. Breakfast is likely to be mashed potatoes. (This was my plan )

More laterzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I Feel Better, Again

I felt so much better yesterday after that decision was made and approved by the doctor.

I’m ready to get started. Again.

As usual I’m instructing my body to go ahead now. It turns out the immune system plays a big role anyway. We’ve been taking walks around the neighborhood lately.

Doc Said Okay

I told the doctor what I decided, to just go ahead with the aggressive chemo no matter what, and skip the dubious biopsies. She said okay with no hesitation. I said “so this isn’t foolish?” and she said it’s not, with no hesitation.

So we’re back on for chemo Real Soon Now. She’ll call me back.

Edit: we’re on, for Friday.

Gut Reaction

If any of those spots are proven to be cancer, this becomes classified as “incurable” and they use a less aggressive, more long-term, treatment plan.

We’re still processing our conversation with the doc this morning. But my gut feeling is:

Assume those little spots are Cancer. Go for the aggressive treatment anyway. Maybe we can knock them out while they are so small.

How?

I suppose this is a rather obvious thing to ask, but How did this happen?

I had a mammogram 1.5 years ago. Okay, it was my first and only ever one so they had nothing to compare it to. But I am under the impression that this thing was too small to show up then. And yeah I wasn’t doing self exams. But still. 1.5 years from not showing up, to 8 cm and possibly spread? WHAT THE HELL???

How did I get to the point where I’m calmly discussing whether to let someone stick a needle through my lung into my liver? The only hesitation is that it is so awkward that a negative result will not mean anything, because they might have missed. So I’m thinking, shouldn’t we just assume it’s positive?

The oncologist was out on Friday so we have three days to wonder what happens, either way we decide.