Anti Nausea Drugs

The doctors and various web sites tell me that the anti-nausea drugs have come a long way. I believe them. I really have not had much trouble compared to what I’ve read of other people, just a few years ago.

When I go for chemo, the first thing they do is inject me with some antinausea drug. They probably told me what it was at some point but hey… you know.

They gave me three prescriptions when I started. One of them is called Emend (Aprepitant). I get three of these pills for each chemo. The retail price on these three pills is $400. I pay $35 with my insurance. I take one of these when I get to the chemo appointment. They said not to take it ahead because it is so expensive, if chemo is called off for some reason I can’t get more. The first one is 125 mg. The other two are to be taken the next two days, 15 minutes before breakfast. They are 80 mg.

The second prescription is called Dexamethasone. I take two a day for three days, with breakfast. I think this is a steroid and I must admit I’m not sure how it works or exactly what it is for.

The third prescription is called prochlorperazine, and is to be taken “as needed”. I read the side effects on this one and decided I would not need it badly enough to risk them. I’m totally irritated that this drug is considered safer or more useful or whatever than that oh so controversial but illegal substitute. One causes “very rarely fatal” neurological side effects. The other makes you sleepy. So I’ve not taken any of these or refilled them.

The first few days after chemo when I’m taking the first two above, I really don’t feel much nausea at all. After having chemo on Friday, the first time I feel sick that way is Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. I wake up on Wednesday, feel bad, cough, and the cough makes me throw up. It’s over in 20 minutes and it’s no worse than a hangover. Then I just feel vaguely bad all day, again, like a hangover.

I have certain luxuries of where I live and the lifestyle I already led that may make this easier. For example, I have a lot of hangover management techniques under my belt. When you wake up nauseous from a hangover, the trick is to take very small sips of something besides water with some calories in it, for several hours. Juice is best. I can’t drink oj on my chemo but I started a lot of days with some peach/apple juice.

Also… Yes. Quit asking me that. Yes. It works. (I’ve had cops tell me I should consider it. I don’t know how to respond to that.) I think this is my main advantage over many people. And again, I’m totally infuriated that “they” would rather I risk “an allergic reaction (difficulty breathing, closing of your throat; swelling of your lips, tongue, or face; or hives); uncontrollable movements of the tongue, face, lips, arms, or legs; muscle spasms of the face or neck; severe restlessness or tremor;” as well as things like Pseudoparkinsonism and Tardive Dyskinesia whatever that is.

I’ve been careful about my eating habits, as well. More careful the first time through. The second time through has been less pleasant, and I think this is because I got careless.

The first time through I took the advice of the Moodie Foodie , especially number 8, to heart. I ate a lot of bananas and yogurt. The second time through I didn’t eat enough bananas and had a lot more acid reflux and just pain (not nausea) in my digestive tract.

Since I already had chronic diarrhea, I didn’t have constipation problems. As a matter of fact it just made the diarrhea a bit better for a couple of days.

So you see, at least for me,  it’s really not as bad as it used to be. No long puke sessions, and nothing much worse than the hangovers I used to subject myself to on a regular basis.

A little oogy

It can’t all be fun and games I guess. I can see why people complain about this stuff. I was a bit nauseaus the last couple mornings and yesterday my stomach just hurt. All day. I also felt like all the stuffing had been drained out of me and I was left in a rag pile at the bottom of a deep hole.

Today I might be feeling a bit better, we’ll see.

At least it’s working. If it was not working I would complain. But here’s hoping any cancer that has escaped into the rest of me is shrinking as fast as the main tumor is.

good stuff

Chemo went fine, maybe better than last time. I feel pretty good (I get a little energy before the fatigue hits, probably tomorrow at 11.)

The doctor actually agreed with me that the tumor is shrinking. She said she couldn’t *find* the lump in the lymph node that she had her med student manipulate last time (until it rather hurt but I was all for the training opportunity.) She couldn’t find it! She looked surprised and happy when she said this, and that the tumor was shrinking.

Yay.

And when I got home the boyfriend and I split the difference, and I gave him his birthday present late, and he gave me mine early, and I got an AMAZING beautiful, wonderful sounding acoustic guitar! That I totally was not expecting but it’s the best thing right now. I was thinking of buying one but he found a great one.

This day sure turned out a lot better than I thought it would. I was a total grump this morning.

Bored Already, and Bald

Actually I’m back to being bored. Back to the way I felt before I decided to go back to school and learn to be a preschool teacher, and then take a paycut. Back when I felt like I was stuck in this job where nothing I do is very important, where no one cares if I’m there, but if I’m not there and someone happens to check, it’s like I committed a crime.

I am so stuck in this job, now. I’m thinking in a few years I might do some volunteer work with kids, maybe cut my hours on this job. But I need these benefits.

I came so close to quitting this job and having no benefits.

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I spent the weekend laying in the hammock, reading, and pulling out my hair. It looked bad, showers were a pain in the ass, and my hair hurt, so I shaved it off. It’s … interesting. My neck is cold, the scarf does not cover it. The boyfriend had a look and said “it’s still you.”

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The week after chemo I was too tired to be upset, I think. The week after that was like my emotions waking up, like a leg that has been asleep. Pins and needles. I thought a lot about dying and various painful futures. I had a few meltdowns.

This week, yeah just kind of bored with the whole thing.

Stuff in the Mail and Hair in the Sink

I got some of my stuff in the mail. The bra actually fits, amazing. The shorts fit also. The scarves are gorgeous and just in time.

I thought I had a few more weeks with hair, but it started coming out yesterday morning. In the morning, it would come out if I pulled on one single hair. I found this out by accident. At first I thought I burned my hair again. Flame-cut bangs… If you don’t know what I mean, think “nausea medication, nudge nudge wink wink.” But there was no burnt hair smell and no new bangs, just a strange popping noise and a loose hair. I tried pulling on a hair in the back and sure enough it popped right out.

By the end of the day, if I pinched some hair and pulled gently, I would get 8 or 10 hairs coming away.

So last night I braided my hair into three braids and cut them off and put them in a bag to do …um… something creative with. Later. I was gonna do a buzz cut, but I looked at the result, straightened a few lines, and I had a haircut. I call it my “Anne Heche Haircut.” People seem to think it looks okay though. It’s short in the back and a bit long on top.

I used this new hairstyle to tell three new people at work about my situation. That’s what they get for being friendly and noticing my hair.

I’m feeling fairly normal otherwise. A little depressed at times, especially when I’m at work. Pretty sad when I’m looking forward to chemo so I can telecommute some more. Being at work seems like even more of a waste of time than it did before. Laying on the couch at home with the laptop on my chest with my boyfriend across the room watching the stock market seems like less of a waste somehow.

More stuff is due to arrive in the mail though, that will cheer me up.

I can’t believe I bought a bra on the internet in a new size, and it fits and I like it. I may never go to a store again.