Good Days/Bad Days
So far (1 down, 11 to go) on this new, weekly, chemo, the bad days were not nearly as bad as the bad days on the other chemo. I still didn’t feel up to doing much, and I sort of ached vaguely all over. My stomach hurt a lot of the time.
The thing is, when are the good days? This should probably be the best day of this cycle, since I start over tomorrow (Tuesday.) I barely dragged myself into work at 10, after traffic died down enough for me to be safe on the road. Towards the end of the day I definitely felt unwell.
Last week after Tuesday’s chemo, I only made it into the office on Thursday, and I forced that because I knew the anti-side-effects drugs would start wearing off on Friday. So I hope it’s okay with work if I come in to the office on Mondays and *maybe* Thursdays for the next 11 weeks. (And telecommuting the other days.)
No one has said a word about my schedule (or anything, really) lately, which I used to take as a good sign, but not since the weirdness in February. The foster boss was chatting in the lobby with someone when I came in today. I guess he didn’t feel it necessary to exercise any boss muscles, cause I didn’t hear anything about it. I did make a really pained face as I walked past him though.
I’m just so glad I took advantage of the “good days” over the summer to have some fun and visit some family. Cause after the next 11 weeks then I get surgery. Not exactly the light at the end of the tunnel there.
YES I am feeling WHINY.
I thought feeling whiny was a side effect of feeling lousy all the time.
You’re entitled. Go for it. You’ve earned the right.
And there IS a light at the end of the tunnel. It’s just that it’s going to be a bumpy ride before then.
What will the surgery be? Losing the lymph nodes?
I don’t really know. In the beginning, my oncologist mentioned shrinking the tumor and then perhaps doing a full mastectomy anyway. That was before she knew the cancer had apparently breached the containment field into the rest of my body. I don’t know if that affects whether it’s worth doing a full mastectomy.
I asked the “substitute” doctor if I might be able to keep the lymph nodes, since he said they were clear on the scan, and he said no. Then he backpedaled a bit. So I need to ask my regular oncologist these things in light of my latest scans. I’ll see her again the week after next. I hope she had a restful vacation.
It sounds like lymph nodes are kind of important, too. On the one hand I’d like to not get cancer again; on the other hand I’d like to be able to use at least one of my arms, please…
I’m conflicted over whether to do both sides, if I have a choice, also…