Beginning to think of the future
I am sad for almost everyone in this post, but of course I am so sad for the children.
I have been looking into doing volunteer work with foster children (not being a foster family, but an advocate of some sort.) They ask you to commit to at least two years to take a child through the court process.
I asked my oncologist if I had any right to commit to that, to an already insecure child. We discussed the basic insecurities of life. Then she said “I see no reason why not.”
That’s big.
As for actually doing it, Pamajama’s post both makes me feel the need more strongly, and frightens me to death.
is it over yet?
Ow.
Also I’m tired of being greasy and I can’t keep my glasses clean.
Also did I mention ow?
Almost done though. Wish I could sleep for the next two weeks while my skin heals from the radiation.
Sensory Deprivation
Just a quick note about work.
As I’ve mentioned, no one really talks to me here. None of my bosses ever come by. I get deadlines and instructions indirectly through mail to our customers.
So, why is it every time someone goes idle on the “work chat” I think they are on their way over here? Why is it that I think they notice when I am sending emails and when I am not? Why do I think every time the phone rings, it is a test? Why, when I take 38.5 minutes for lunch instead of 30, do I think someone will notice?
Paranoia will destroy ya.
Focused
My evenings are now focused on rubbing lotion into my skin and trying to minimize the coating of the rest of the house, including mouse and keyboard. My days at work are spates of work between furtive applications.
This week, next week, and the week after, then radiation will be done.
They are about to switch something that will supposedly make it less irritating to the skin.
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