work chat

We have a “work chat.” Everyone uses it differently. Many people use it differently on different days. Much effort appears to go into defeating any “timeclock” usage by some people.

For example, Bubba will go idle, drive home, and become active again, without logging off. Other days, he will log off the chat and hang around the building, making sure people see him. (Yes, I stalk his car. I don’t think they know that. I know Swell Guy’s car, too.)

Some people log in on Monday and stay “active” all week 24 hours a day. Some of Swell Guy’s staff still haven’t learned how to turn it on, at all. (They are called “computer operators”. They put paper in printers. They get to drive little golf carts around.)

Last year, when Swell Guy and I were fighting, before I got The Cancer, I had my status set to “doing something else, please leave a message.” Swell Guy chatted at me and asked if I was there, and said “you been afk all day”. I asked him about how he wanted me to use the chat, and gave a couple suggestions, involving what other people do. He got huffy and said something about my turning things into confrontations and threatened to “do something” about it. I said “never mind, I won’t ask for any more guidance, see you next time you need to ‘manage’ me.” So my stupid icon is always active when I’m at my desk and idle, when I’m not. Cause I’m special.

I also get on the work chat from home, which is how I know Swell Guy, the one who suddenly made me sign papers about my hours last year, starts work between 6:50 and 7:30.  Everyone thinks he comes in “really early” and they are not about to check up on how early, by coming in themselves. I think a few of his staff are in cahoots, and also don’t come in as early as they let on.   He goes home anytime between 1:30 and 3pm; this I can watch with my own eyes. And? He’s got 4.5 weeks marked “out of the office” in a row, soon.

Meanwhile, back at Bubba, my “real boss”… I have not been to his office in over 5 years. He gets regular deliveries for me, but he refuses to change the ship-to name, for some reason no one understands. He emails about them, and then usually brings them down, leans into my office, dumps them on my desk, mumbles something, and walks out. I usually just stare at him and there’s not much time for much else.

The last few years he has mostly quit trying to trick me into coming to his office. About every 8th delivery, which is about every 4 months, he will write “come by and pick them up or I’ll drop them off.” He did this again on Monday. I thought “one definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over, and expecting a different result.”

So, of course, I did nothing, just waited for him to deliver the stuff. He did not. Instead, 30 minutes later, he logged off the work chat. I saw him in the hall a few hours later but I was going on break and just continued out of the building.

The next day he stayed off the work chat all day, I think. I ignored the whole thing.

On Wednesday, he went idle around 11:30. At 1:30 pm his car was gone. He was still on the chat, just idle.

On Thursday, he emailed me about an additional delivery. He added it on to the previous email. About 5 minutes later, he showed up, dumped and left. I looked. It was only the new thing.

What could I do? Five minutes later, I emailed him “thanks for the new thing. I didn’t get the other stuff. I couldn’t find you in the office yesterday afternoon, please feel free to put it in my mailbox.” The mail goes to a list, which includes his boss and Swell Guy. I’m sure they don’t read it but I hope Bubba thinks they do.

Still haven’t seen the stuff. He was in the office all day Friday, but not on the chat, so if anyone asks, I’ll say I assumed he was working from home, again. Not that anyone ever asks. I make up these excuses for nothing. It’s insane.