Gee Thanks.
I slept from 11pm Saturday to 10:30am Sunday. When I woke up my husband was gone. When he came back, he said I “must have needed” that sleep. I told him that was not necessarily true, because while I might be sick, I’m for sure depressed.
Him: “what would help?”
me: “I don’t know”
Him: “I guess I’m on my own, then.”
Oh hey *that* sure helped, good job.
Let’s see, which of these would be more likely to help:
a) arrange for someone she’s insecure about to drop by (to get some free tickets) and see how we live, on a Saturday. (We live in a very strange mess, several rooms of dusty air pollution equipment mixed with decades old computer stuff and decades old catalogs) Vacuum the living room to make it “presentable” (sure) and then get ill for several hours. Bonus points if the person doesn’t show up on Saturday, thus ruining the whole weekend.
b) get ill around the time you usually feed her. Wait til she’s napping, starving, and has given up on going out for 45 minutes of music at a very late hour. Wake her and offer to go after all.
c) Let her sleep in on Sunday morning, while you go out in the sunshine and play music, and go to Costco, without getting the list she made on Saturday, when you were still going to go on Saturday.
d) At noon, offer to make her breakfast after your shower. Stay in the shower for 45-60 minutes, during which time the person supposed to “drop by” calls twice and leaves messages.
e) Miss connecting with the “drop by” person so that she doesn’t come by at all. Leave a message, but don’t bother trying to call her again to see what is up.
f) Leave it to me to get the free tickets to the “drop by” person at work on Monday. When I complain about having to wait to go on a break, pass that right on to the “drop by” person, along with the idea that I want to get coffee at a place that I actually never go to anymore, and suggest she might want to meet me there. (Sometime in the last week I mentioned I never go there anymore because of the people I might run into.)
g) Tell the person at the last minute that I want to go with her to use the tickets she is picking up, even though I just said this weekend that I did NOT want to go. Thus giving the person the impression she has to take me with them in order to get these “free” tickets. (And why would she need to pick them up if I’m going?)
h) All of the above?
Bonus points for complaining about how you’re just trying to help, get nothing but bad feelings back, and will never do it again.
Helpful people suck.
Seriously, just reading that made me want to lock my doors and close my blinds and refuse to answer my phone. I dunno why.
I have found that I don’t want any “help” when I am in a “funk.” People want to help in their ways and not in the ways that I might need help. I usually find that I am actually not too receptive to people helping whenever they try.
Birdpress, it sounds like I successfully showed you inside my brain. Scary, eh?
MTAE: all the help I want at this point is “don’t blindside me.”
I didn’t actually complain about any of this until Monday when I was having potato chips for breakfast so I didn’t miss the pickup during the 4 hour window I somehow was faced with. She did show up an hour before the end of the window. I had overslept, left 15 minutes after I woke up, forgot to bring my yogurts, hadn’t had a shower… and had nothing to do at work but watch hulu television.